You’ve cared for your things for decades—furniture, heirlooms, dishes, collections. So when it’s time to downsize and your kids say, “I don’t have room for that,” or “I don’t want it,” it can sting.

First—try not to take it personally.

Many adult children live in smaller homes with less storage, or they simply have different tastes and lifestyles or simply don’t have the room either. It’s not a rejection of your memories—or their upbringing -- it’s just a reflection of their reality.  

So, what can you do?

Here are some thoughtful next steps:

Preserve the story. Photograph meaningful pieces and write down the memories behind them.  This can be therapeutic for you and help you with the letting go process.  

Sell what still has value. Consider consignment shops, online listings, or an estate sale. You can even ask family to help manage the process-they may not want the piece, but they can help find it a new home.

Donate with purpose. Local charities, shelters, schools, and churches often welcome gently used items.  Donating work clothing for job interviews or casual clothing to a woman’s shelter makes sense.  Thrift shops welcome these items as well.  Hospice in Walnut Creek, Danville, Concord will often take items. Just keep in mind, they may want something but don’t have the room to store it, or have the manpower or vehicles to pick it up or store it.  They tend to want smaller items.  Some churches will furnish apartments for refugees or homeless shelters, but again, they need the manpower and vehicles to collect the items and/or store it. 

Ouch!!! “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure” might seem like a good idea. However, we just spend a lot of time looking for the person who wants the treasure.  And unless it’s a collectable, they may not be easy to find.  Donate if they will take it or place it for FREE on FREECYCLE or Facebook Marketplace FREE section.

Keep what still serves you. If it brings joy or purpose to your next chapter, it’s worth keeping. But try to release the guilt of keeping things "just in case you need them."  Analyze how much room you have and prioritize what is essential vs nice to have.  YOU can do this…just be ready for the emotions going along with it.  Moving is not easy at any stage in life, give yourself time to mourn the past and look forward to the new future you are creating.  

As a Seniors Real Estate Specialist® (SRES), I work with clients every day who are navigating this emotional part of the downsizing journey. You’re not alone—if you need referrals for organizers, estate sale companies, or donation services, I’m here to help!